I'm scared
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "She sighed and opened her eyes. Sleep just wouldn't come, not even after all the things she had tried to fall asleep, the things she always did when she had been just a girl. It didn't work this time. It frustrated her to no end." Tag to 6.01 'The Desert Rose', Jisbon, Rated K plus. Just a little something my dearies from Tumblr wanted to see.


**A/N: *SPOILERS AHEAD* *BEWARE* First of all: ASDFGHJKL that episode! Holy flying fucks, guys! It was so intense! So many tension, that fight, and LISBON AT THE END OF THE EPISODE! MY BABY!**

**Now, that being said; I only slept for four hours because of that episode so please don't blame me for this story not making any sense because I know it doesn't. It's very hard to write something comprehensible on four hours sleep, trust me.**

**So... this picks up in that moment where Jane and Lisbon stay at the motel. I saw some people on Tumblr wanted to have this fic written and I sacrificed myself, as it were ^^. I'm not saying this should've happened instead, BUT it would've been better than what Lisbon actually did. It was kind of stupid of her to tell Van Pelt, but hey, now the entire team knows about the list so there are no secrets anymore xD.**

**Also, I'm working on Pink Ribbons and I'll probably upload before Thursday but I can't be sure about it. Don't fret, I'll finish it!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Sadly. I don't think I would've been able to come up with a season premiere like that.**

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'_**I'm scared'**_

She sighed and opened her eyes. Sleep just wouldn't come, not even after all the things she had tried to fall asleep, the things she always did when she had been just a girl. It didn't work this time. It frustrated her to no end.

She sighed once again and sat up straight in her bed. This wasn't going to work – sleep just wasn't meant for her this night. It could work out just fine, she had worked on no sleep at all before, it could work this time too.

Except... she knew it wouldn't. She had much more on her mind this time than all these other times. Perhaps that was exactly the reason she couldn't go to rest now – there were too many demons chasing her.

Realizing that she couldn't go to sleep anyway, she got out of bed and put on socks and shoes and a warmer vest and went outside. She inhaled the fresh scent of the desert and leaned against the outside wall of the motel. She had expected her thoughts to be racing at full speed, work its way through scenarios or possibilities, but instead, it remained awfully quiet.

She turned her head and looked at the door of the room beside hers, and got a flutter of hope in her stomach. Well, at least he was close to her. As close as he could get, she supposed. She wished he would be less controlling and secretive and would look at her for once, really _look_. But she knew he wouldn't, he never did. All he had ever cared about was his revenge, and she wouldn't be surprised if it would even be bothering him after Red John had been defeated. And she would undoubtedly be there to pick up the pieces.

She leaned against the wall again. Things were going downhill from here and she saw no way of stopping it from happening.

~...~

He was an experienced insomniac, had suffered from it ever since his life had crumbled down around him and it had never actually stopped. Yet where usually, he was able to close his eyes sometimes and get some rest – now, he couldn't even manage that. His thoughts were running freely and it prevented him from getting relaxed.

Too much had changed. She was in danger now, and even more so than she ever had been before. She knew too much. He had always been reluctant to tell her things, to let her in on his secrets for _this exact reason_. Red John would find out, reach out to her and take her from him. He realized by now, it was only a matter of time before that would happen – his biggest nightmare.

He shouldn't have told her, and he had meant it when he had told her. Yet he didn't regret telling her either.

Just when he was about to go outside to get some fresh air, he heard a soft knock on the door. He frowned and got up, opening the door, and his heart clenched.

Lisbon was standing in front of him, clad in what appeared to be her PJ's with a vest and shoes added to keep her warm. How he wished her could hold her to just keep her warm himself. The thought shocked him.

"Jane, I'm scared," she whispered. She didn't meet his eyes, decided to look at the carpet underneath his bare feet instead. She looked unbelievably tiny and vulnerable like this, all her usually tall walls burnt down to the ground. There was no pretense here – she was genuinely scared. And apparently, it prevented her from sleeping, just like his thoughts prevented him from resting too.

He slowly stepped towards her and gently wrapped his arms around her small frame. He felt her shuddering in his arms and he pulled her even closer.

"Shh," he tried to calm her, "it's gonna be okay, Lisbon."

Her arms wrapped around his chest too. She tucked her head underneath his chin and he admired how perfectly she fit there, in his arms, like she was supposed to be there all along.

He was tired of waiting for her, he had waited for her for so many years but he couldn't stop it now. If he indulged in his fantasies now, she would be in one hell of a danger and he couldn't risk her, not the love of his life. If she would be gone, he would cease to exist.

"Jane," she whispered again.

"I know," he replied. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?" She didn't say 'there are a thousand things you can apologize for, which one are you saying sorry for now?' but he heard in her voice it was what she was wondering now.

"For being a jerk. Blaming you for the things I've done wrong. I'm sorry."

"'S okay."

They remained like that for minutes, just reveling in the other's body heat, until he closed the door behind her and led her to his bed. She protested but he just kissed the top of her head.

"We won't do anything. But we... we need to sleep. We need to be alert. He's close, Lisbon... we need to get some rest. And since we're both still awake..."

She looked into his eyes with many doubts, but he saw it the moment acceptance and understanding kicked in. She nodded. He stepped away from her and sank down on the bed, opening his arms for her to slip in beside him. And she did, not able to stop her small sigh of contentment when his arms closed around her.

He fell asleep as soon as she did, her heart beating close to his, calming his body and soul.

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**A/N: Wow it got a bit more sappy there at the end. Anyway, hope you liked this and that I didn't completely mess up the entire plot bunny. Let me know in a REVIEW, thanks!**


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